Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Can Jupiter Ascending Be Any Good At All?

Ah yes, Jupiter Ascending, how I had hope than then lost it at the name Wachowski.

I mean don't get me wrong, with movies like the first two Matrix's the Wachowski brothers special people have had two very good films. But then one got so pissed his wife abandoned him he became a girl and then he-she screwed up Matrix 3, Speed Racer and am wholly glad they did not direct V for Vendetta (they are still pretty good at screenwriting). I won't deny, Clout Atlas was very good, but that was their last hurrah and I will be surprised if this is even remotely okay.
It's brother and tranny now.

Let's look at the cast, though. It stars Mila Kunis, a known actress who does very good and professional work. I mean, she doesn't have the best acting, but can pull of a very good performance like she did in Black Swan. Channing Tatum on the other hand - is also very good. The best part of G.I. Joe: Retaliation if I may. I mean, look at his upcoming movie list, the dude is a very good actor. Then the supporting cast, Sean Bean! Amazing! Wait, he's with James D'Arcy and Douglas Booth with Tuppence Middleton (I don't know this one is, her name sounds funny, though)! These morons can get a good cast, I'll admit.
I don't know if I can think of a good caption here...

Let's look at the plot now: Jupiter Jones is an unlucky Russian immigrant who cleans toilets for a living. She encounters Caine, an interplanetary warrior whom the Queen of the Universe sent to kill Jupiter. Caine tells Jupiter that the stars were pointing to an extraordinary event on the night she was born, and that her DNA could mark her as the universe's next leader. You know, that doesn't sound half bad, which means it has the potential to be very good. But then again, given that only one half of the production crew is good, and there is a very good chance they could phone in their performances, expect this movie to get 25 % on Rotten Tomatoes. However, I may be wrong and the Wachowskis could have their groove back and may motivate the cast to a 60 - 80 % ratio on Rotten Tomatoes. Expect the worst, however.


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