Saturday, April 18, 2015

Please Leadbeater, SHUT UP!

So yeah, Knight posted his analysis yesterday. I was content not to do mine, but I decided to check out WhatCulture and sure enough Alex Goddamn Leadbeater posted another article. This one is titled 9 Ways I Masturbate 9 Ways The Batman V Superman Movie Trailer Proves The Movie Will Suck. Is Leadbeater just angry that the movie will be good? Hell, I made a public Facebook (my real one is private) just so I could respond to this fucker. So here, is why Alex Leadbeater is once again wrong about Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.
You goat fucker, Leadbeater.

He starts off by claiming that everything the movie has done has so far deserved derision? No, if anything, the trailer is the only thing that could even warrant derision because the trailer is the only actual footage you've seen! This moron was analyzing a whole film off of four pictures. Either he's Isa or a bloody fuck.
I pulled most of these memes off of one google search and that took more brainpower than it did for Leadbeater to write his article.

First actual page claims a Generic Opening to an Interesting Idea. From that title, assume that the interesting idea is people hating on Superman. So how to represent that? I don't know personally, but I am satisfied with what Snyder gave because it does accurately represent that. Yes there are mixed feelings on it, but it did the job. What does Leadbeater suggest: 1) a taste of the battle, &, 2) Batman voice over. Maybe the second of the two could do the job, but how the hell would the first one? It's ideas like that which show hating for the sake of hating. I can't honestly analyze this part more because Leadbeater is that bad of a journalist. I mean, it's teasing the major thematic component of the film and you don't want it to show that?
Steer clear of WhatCulture guys.

Then he says the CGI of the film is bad. Except here is the thing, he also says this in the second section: "While you can’t judge a movie’s CGI off its trailer". If that is true, don't fucking post anything about the CGI. You make some points after that, which would be valid if you hadn't completely invalidated them before typing them.
Specifically Superman.

The droning music is his next point. The way he explains this part, it's actually slightly valid, and one can see the inklings of a journalist who is great at doing other articles (just like in me you can see a great journalist who would be great if he minded censors). However, this guy uses the word 'generic' far too much.
It's not breaking if I've already covered it...

The crummy tease. Teasing a teaser trailer. It's like taking an electrician taking the rate of an ampere rate.  He says the teaser trailer's teaser didn't show enough and is a slog? Slog means hard work, which would mean that you are actually crediting the movie instead of bashing it. Here's some advice Leadbeater, how about you use words you know the meaning of.
Well I already told him... so...

Then he says that the film relies too heavily on symbolism from The Dark Knight Rises. Please, tell me how a character is going to look different from himself in a different film. Yes there will be certain differences, but take Cavill's Superman and the George Reeve Superman. Silhouette them both and you see practically the same image. He criticizes Jeremy Irons' voiceover when it is actually talking about Superman, you're not supposed to see Michael Caine. The one person I doubt anyone gives a shit about who plays is Alfred.
I think I used this one before for Leadbeater...

Then he says Warner Bros don't know the market and he goes on to list a series of places for where the teaser was teased... by speculation. Those were rumors Leadbeater, not actual marketing done by Zack Snyder. Then he just drools over Star Wars...
This one's different but totally describes it... also, I didn't want to google search again. Oh yeah, sorry if this offends aynone.

Then he criticizes the dialogue and asks how Superman hears Batman. He asks if Superman has developed super-hearing, which was actually a major part of the last film... what the fuck is wrong with this guy? If he's being sarcastic he should realize that this is text and he comes off as a dumbshit. He claims that the dialogue is cheesy, when most find it threatening. He says it's a step back into Shuchmacher when the only one doing that is you, Leadbeater, with your horrible writing.
The more you know!

Look, Batman Forever did make cinematic history by introducing Robin. This film will do the same by having Batman and Superman on screen, so why are you criticizing the trailer based off of a comment made by Henry Cavill when just before that you give the trailer credit for doing that? See how confusing that sounds? Nobody was groaning "Batman and Superman! WOW" or "we get it", they were going "HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY FEELS! TAKE MY FEELS SNYDER! TAKE THEM!". That was the majority.
Leadbeater - YOU ARE A DUMBASS

His last point is very ironic. He says we've seen a lot of it before. Well, only if you went to ComicCon... really. What we have seen a lot of, is your bash articles Leadbeater... that is what we are tired of seeing.
Now leave Leadbeater.


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