Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Didn't I Tell You Annie Would Be Terrible?

I reiterate, didn't I tell you that Annie would be shit? Yeah, it's a hard knock life for sure when you realize that people are just remaking random crap for crap. I mean, I liked the Total Recall remake, it would have made a lot of money but some dumbass decided to release it next to The Dark Knight Rises. I mean, have you people seen the trailer for Annie? It's more shit than Like Mike.

It's me again, your resident black man from Saskatchewan: Muhammad Yafisz Khan. Now, try and watch that video up there. I mean, Cameron Diaz was just in a movie called Sex Tape, and then one before it which was also about sex with Leslie Mann and I'm pretty sure Bad Teacher was also about sex or at least featured it. Now, what the hell is the story of this? Cameron Diaz tries to persuade that actress who has an unpronounceable name not to become the adopted daughter of a billionaire who is at first using her but grows to be a father? Dang, y'know, I'd have sworn that the Muppets did a better job of this! Yeah, Sesame Street's Hard Knock Life is much better than this version and Jay Z's version.
The guy whose directing this had a Mila Kunis movie titled Friends with benefits. Also known as the movie where you saw Mila Kunis nude. Ha ha. Why the fuck would they choose him?

Now let me expand, Annie was a fun cartoon strip and a very enjoyable movie because it had purpose. I mean, this is just Will Smith pissing his pants because he can't get good numbers as an actor anymore. So he takes his cousin Jamie whose had success with Django Unchained and tries to get him to team up with his daughter. His daughter realizes that she can't act and nobody likes her so she drops out and they put in the girl with the unpronounceable name. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but did they just give the whole fucking plot away in that trailer?
You Think you're Funny? We Can Fix that  Prognosis Man
As in, what the public should be asking the director.

I mean seriously. What the hell is up with this? Some remakes are unnecessary, like this one and the Mad Max one. But unlike the Mad Max one, which we know will be entertaining, this one is just stupid. I'll be damned if kids like this and given that Jada Pinkett's probably boning the reviewers it's going tos eem like they will. It's a stupid idea of a movie. I mean Benjamin Stacks, har har. He's got stacks of benjamins. Are they even going to call him Daddy Warbucks? No, they're going the grim'n'gritty Batman Begins style with this one.
Has two idiot kids.

SO, here's some more memes and a hot girl and peace out:
Maybe he'll be cool again.

Her husband gives her all her movie roles.


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